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BEAUTY OP-ED | News flash... real women come in ALL sizes, not just plus-sizes


SINCE THE deaths of two South American models caused by complications related to anorexia, the weight of models and other aspirational types – actresses, TV hosts, singers, reality TV stars et al – has come under fire and rightfully so. The British Fashion Council set up the Model Health Inquiry. Madrid Fashion Week banned models with BMIs under 18. Essentials Magazine has decided to use REAL WOMEN instead of models and actresses in all future issues. But, man, is it about time we women -- REAL WOMEN of all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds -- took issue with the misuse of that term -- real women.  

Because a woman is scarily thin doesn't make her any less of a real woman, in my book, than one who happens to be scarily overweight. It's true that the relentless march of under-nourished, under-aged and over-airbrushed girls that peer out at female-kind from every nook and cranny of visual popular culture is un-nerving at the best of times and horribly damaging – even fatal – at the worst..

But, is the backlash against them – this defining non-skinny women as the sole real women – the right way either? Sure, it's easy to indignantly smirk at the wafer-thin women as pawns in male master-minded industries, reducing them to mere objects in our minds, open game to our hate and scorn. But does being clinically obese make you more real than a woman who suffers from starving herself? How about those who don't happen to be the average size (14) but don't fit into sample sizes (0) either? Those who pleasantly fall into that no-man's land of size 6 to 8 (what I grew up believing was the ideal thanks to my Sweet Valley High books in Junior High)? Are those in that category also not considered real? And why such a narrow bloody definition based on nothing but an arbitrary (and believe me, they are arbitrary) trouser size?

It's time to stop the binary thinking, ladies.

An either-or mentality has never gotten anyone anywhere in this world. Being underweight can be unhealthy and wreak havoc on the collective female psyche when constantly championed as the female ideal. But, on the flip side, when the average size of a nation (I'm looking at you in all your sweatpant-clad glory, America, and a population where 6 out of every 10 people is overweight) starts to cost healthcare upwards of $150 billion annually, we need to man (and woman) up and realize there's nothing inherently better or more real about being bigger either.

It seems while our ideal keeps shrinking, our idea of what's average keeps ballooning so that our sense of normalcy is bordering on surreal. The bigger we get the smaller we want to be, making our aspirations and our state of reality equally dangerous.  

I often hear the name of Marilyn Monroe invoked in defense of the plus-sized American woman – "Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. That says it all", said Rosanne Barr, giving women on the top end of the spectrum carte blanche to continue scorning smaller women. But she's wrong. Not only are vanity sizes de riguer (a size 4 of 2010 is approx. the same size as a 1980s size 8 and so on) but Monroe had a 22-inch waist on a good day and 23-incher on a bad day. Clearly not the measurement of today's average woman. So stop it, ladies, and face the music! We all come in different shapes and sizes and there's no justifying one's weight and worth as a real woman because of a number on a scale or invoking the name of Miss Monroe to assuage delicate egos!

You're no less of a woman if you're a size 2 than a size 12 than a size 6 than a size 24. End of story.

I agree that airbrushing, the cult of skinny (esp. paired with bolt-on boobs, surgery, injections et al) and all that nonsense is, well, nonsense, but so is pretending that you have to fit an equally absurd set of criteria to be deemed a REAL WOMAN.

Because you know what? We're all real women or so said that very crucial anatomy lesson in high school health class (and if you don't know what that means, I can't help you). Some have been more blessed by the genetic gods than others and some (many nowadays) cheat. So what? Some might have eating disorders. Some might be naturally thinner or thicker. Some might be athletic, short, tall, round, lean... whatever. There's no one-body-fits-all for womankind so this bandying about of the term real women is as mystifying as it is damaging and delusional. 

Help me think of a better term for women who don't work as models or actresses. Vain, eating-disordered, carved-up-by-a-plastic-surgeon's-knife as all those ladies might be, they're still real women so let's cut the bulls**t use of that term as a way to grab the public's limited attention and find something a bit better suited, shall we?

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Reader Comments (7)

Thank you for calling attention to this! I've really noticed this 'real woman' trend lately and even see it popping up among some of my close friends, and it is truly awful. As someone who went through the puppy-fat phase hating her body and being bullied for having a little extra during that period, I can sympathise with women who want to stand up and scream at people who disparage them for being a little overweight or having a little extra here and there. But on the other hand, as someone who post-puppy-fat grew seven cm and acquired the body I have today almost overnight, it is incredibly hurtful to have those same women then turn on you and go 'Look at you, you're clearly anorexic, how unattractive is that, you're SO skinny, urgh, you look awful' because really, I'm now only 164 cm tall and very, very slender, but I actually rock a 22-inch waist and a natural 32 E cup UK size, and I get this crap from the lovely curvy women I think look wonderful, and I just think, why can't you accept that no matter what the heck you look like and what your bathroom scales tell you, you will always be a REAL woman and no one can ever take that from you? Why do they feel the need to de-feminise anyone with a smaller figure than themselves? We're not all anorexic or surgically enhanced, it's like you said, from the morbidly obese to the genetically blessed to the actual eating-disorder-sufferers, we're all women. Real women, even. Even the ones who've had work done are still real women, but with add-ons. It's hurtful to see beautiful women with so much hatred inside them for other beautiful women just because they happen to be beautiful in a different way. I know a woman who is nigh incapable of gaining weight, and I know others whose weight goes up and down like nobody's business, and you know what, who cares? They're wonderful people and as long as you're happy with who you are, just be happy and don't spoil it for everyone else. And if you're not happy or you feel inferior, I'm sorry for you, but there's no excuse for attempting ot defend yourself by tearing other people down when you have nothing to base your statements on.

Genetics, background, money, all these things can help shape a woman, but every woman, no matter what damn shape she has, is still a woman. Thank you for recognising that as well.
09.12.2010 | Unregistered CommenterS-V

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