BEAUTY OP-ED | What I wish I knew when I was young #1

There's loads... isn't there? It's probably healthier not to constantly have one eye on the past and what you wish you knew then that you know now, so I try to keep both eyes in the same direction -- looking straight ahead (or at my husband's bum in those houndstooth trousers). But, Dove's Self-Esteem Movement features something called What Do You Wish You'd Known At 13, so it got me thinking. T

But let's not try to cover it all here. Let's get onto the beauty-related stuff (even if, yes, some of it seems loosely related) I wish I knew at 13. There are plenty of other people who can address the other areas of expertise that would have been handy in our younger years.

First up, personal style and bullies... shall we?

PERSONAL STYLE ("Fashion fades, only style remains the same." Coco Chanel)

1. No one wakes up looking amazing. That's a myth that America seems to loooove. The reason those gorgeous Italian exchange students in high school looked so amazing is because they knew how to apply makeup, dress, talk, walk, watch their diet and fitness and do their hair. They didn't just put in a scrunchie and throw on a sweatshirt and pajama bottoms, like you lot did.

2. Just because the clothes in the department store don't fit properly does not mean there's something wrong with the shape of your body. It's because the clothes are all cut from one generic pattern. You don't have a generic-shaped body.

3. Don't ever wear anything with a crew neck. Ever.

4. You'll never believe it, but those Hammer pants (or Harem pants as the fash pack call them) you own in 5th grade totally come back into style twenty years later.
5. Buy your clothes in solid colours instead of trendy patterns and you'll keep them and use them for longer.
6. Don't cut your hair off! You do it like 5 times. And every time you cry... and end up getting hit on by girls.

7. You can expose your legs or your arms/decolletage but never put both on show at the same time.

8. Never ever wear knee-high boots and bare legs. EVER. It's one of the worse fashion sins ever perpetrated by womankind.

9. Do not use any products that are labelled oil-free, for acne prone skin, etc. from the drugstore. Every single one of them will make your acne and overall complexion worse.

10. Have more confidence by simply thinking better things about yourself. There's no reason to do otherwise. You're the only person forcing you think those bad things about yourself!

11. Everyone will always have detractors. Generally they just don't like change. Or the fact that you're changing. Ignore them.

12. If you wear anything that stands out, some people will always say “why are you wearing that”? because you're not dressed in boot cut jeans and a Northface polar fleece. Ignore them too. Because...

13. You should make an effort. It really is just as easy to put on a dress as it is to pull on a pair of jeans.

14. Whether you like it or not, you're judged on your looks.

15. Learn the art of dressing to your silhouette and not the silhouette you wish you had. You'll feel comfortable and look better.

16. Learn how to sew and number 15 will be even easier.

17. Don't spend loads of cash on expendable, cheap clothes, makeup and skincare. Buy high quality on occasion and maintain it.

18. Never wear long acrylic nails unless you want people to think you're the type who wears long acrylic nails (and all the things they associate with such a fashion item). 

19. There is nothing that says you have to gain the Freshman 15 when you go to college. Eat less, drink less alcohol and walk more. Go in with good habits and you'll be fine. 

20. Learn how to take a flattering picture. You have a good side and a less-good side. Figure out which is which. You'll be happy you did.

BULLIES (because it effects everything, including all things beauty. And BULLIES ARE UGLY)

1. The older girls in high school will be mean, especially when 'their' boys talk to you. Ignore them too. Or just stand up for yourself if needs must. They'll back track and then back down (I'm talking to you, hefty haunches B. Davis and ewok look-a-like L. Smith).

2. That one time in 8^th grade when you're mean to that one girl (the first and last time you'll do such a thing (you were at the mercy of someone prodding you to do it, but still no excuses)), DON'T DO IT. It's not ever nice and you don't feel nice for doing it either. If you don't have anything nice to say...

3. Girls don't stop bullying as they get older... they just change their methods.
4. Give a wide berth to toxic people, needy people, narcissistic people, people who lie, people who do drugs, people who always make you feel bad and people who always leave you exhausted.
5. Not everyone will like you and it doesn't matter. Half the time it's due to their own insecurities.
6. The same people who always ask "why you're dressed like that" are bullies too.

What do you wish you had known when you were 13? How about 21? Or 27?

Coming next week... things I wish I had known about beauty and health!

Comments

[Alice]

Fantastic post, agree with lots of those points, and some of them I still have to tell myself. Thank you!