Facial expressions in photography change with the times, don't they? My stoic great great grandparents look like ghostly pod people (post-life force sucked out of them a la The Dark Crystal). Immovable as statues, their faces were drawn into fixed stares. Not a wandering eye or disobedient child in sight... just utter, eerie stillness.

Slowly during the twentieth century, the smile crept into photography, notably the ginormous toothy (top and bottom, baby) grin that so demarcates an American in any photo. Even models started smiling after a time (Christie and Cheryl, you were pillars of wholesome American beauty). Anyway, things seemed to be progressing (transgressing is more like it) in a certain manner over the last 15 or so years into the realm of the patently ridiculous. We now pose for pictures in a way that would have had Dali himself in peals of laughter.

We've taken the pout into the silly stratosphere, producing what can only be referred to as Duckface because the lips are pushed out in such an exaggerated manner as to mimic the beak of Daffy Duck himself. And daffy it is.

When on earth did this facial rendition of a puckered a**ehole become considered sexy, mysterious, tough or all of the above? I have one word to say: Ewwwwwwwwwww. And I have one name to blame for this hideous visual blight: MySpace.

A generation (probably several now) will have nothing but digital self-portraits of Duckfaces snapped with a camera phone to recapture their youth when older and (one hopes although one starts to get more skeptical the more self-portraits one sees) wiser. Poster child for the vacuous vanity of the Millenials – Megan Fox – even contorted her pointless features into said mess for a Super Bowl advert (in jest, we hope (however we gloomily suspect not)).

Sure, people have been snapping self-portraits since cameras existed but this cocked head, arm-in-the-air, duck-billed self-portrait is the trademark of the current times. It is the aesthetic legacy we're leaving behind... Can someone say modern-day Dark Ages?

Personally, I would like to start an anti-Duckface petition. In an ideal world, perhaps we, the Duckface police, could swap all Duckface photos in the world with generic profile pics (perhaps a medical image of an arsehole, since that what you look like anyway...) that would deter such shameless and utterly failed attempts at pornstar pouts in future. You know the pouts, those accidental trout pouts plastered across the sad faces of porn stars that girls now emulate, not understanding that Jenna Jameson's lips were surely not meant to look like that post injections. Joke's on the Duckfacers, then, isn't it!?

What do you think about the Duckface? Are you guilty of it? If so, WHY the f**k DO YOU DO IT? Please share. Please. I mean it. I NEED TO KNOW.

I mean, what the hell are you trying to say to the world? I'm hot? Failed. I'm sexy? Failed. I'm fun-loving? Failed. Impossible to comprehend. Do you want to look like Shauna Sands? And, more importantly, WHY?

Which all sort of brings me back to a strand of thought I often fall back onto in recent times, which is that it seems looking like a prostitute is more and more an end goal for the ladies nowadays. And so many seem to mindlessly do so with relish. Scary. Although good for those of us with normal pictures in the job stakes (who would you rather hire? A head with an a**ehole planted where the mouth used to be or someone with a regular face? I know who I'd be biased towards).

And, you know what? You're mom was bang on, dear... keep making that face and it'll stay that way. Except in 20 years you'll look more like the old chic from King Pin instead of the vain teenager (or, god forbid, twenty-something) you are right now.

To get a glimpse of the best Duckface out there, visit Stop Making That Duckface... one of the funniest chronicles of this pop culture trend. Mostly because it's (sadly) true.