BEAUTY OP-ED | Do salon names bother you?

THEY. RILE. me.

Mind, not all of them. Just the really SHIT ones.

How do I know when one's shit?

If you're instincts fail you, then we have some tips to help along your powers of observation.

That said, if you need such hand-holding to spot shit salon names, your taste is probably questionable at best anyway. Bitter pill, I know. The upside is you probably won't be as offended. 

What's the secret?

Basically, a clever business owner decides to work some hair-related word into a common idiom or phrase. Surely you've all cringed at the sight of a salon called something like Hair Apparent or Mane Appeal?

Thought so.

My personal favourite is when said owner decides a generic name/phrase that's been intentionally misspelled will make their formerly hum-drum name suddenly appear unique.

Sure does. In that you have MISSPELLED it. Nail Tyme isn't any more appealing to me than Nail Time. On the contrary.

I would blame THIS EVIL WEBSITE if I thought anyone used it. Holy shit, it's awful. Or wonderful. Wonderfully awful?

Better even than the name suggestions is the story after the fold. Pure gold, that.

What's the worst you've seen?

FROM THE FRONT | Yarok The Hair Kitchen opens in New York

YAROK FOUNDER and editorial stylist Mordechai Alvow has opened The Hair Kitchen in New York City's Flatiron district.

What is Yarok? "Performance-driven [haircare] products that are healthy for both clients and stylists. Using modified, traditional recipes of nutrient-rich base and essential oils, YAROK products are formulated exclusively from organic, wildcrafted and otherwise responsibly-harvested plant ingredients, hand-picked for their medicinal and sensory benefits throughout history, and sourced from pristine locales around the world. The products are created fresh, in small batches, to preserve their freshness, integrity and performance." There are seven treatment oils for various follicular and scalp ailments, shampoo and conditioner.

Why do you care about The Hair Kitchen? Because you can get a signature scalp treatment (serums, scalp massage... bliss), organic hair colouring, a blow out, a cut (boys and girls both) or an updo if need be and your makeup all did in one place. And all of it's as squeaky green as can be, so none of the usual noxious nasties and fumes you often get in the confines of a salon.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that the Yarok Feed Your Youth hair treatment (aforementioned serum + scalp massage) is a hair changing experience. Go in with ragged roots and emerge all silky maned.

We'll be in Manhattan this week and next so we'll be sure to swing by this address for a real-time update.

The Hair Kitchen, 39 West 19 Street suite 610, New York, NY 10011 (212-876-4293).

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Participating states, districts and countries are: Arizona, California, Colorado, D.C., Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington and Canada.

Visit the Spa Week site.