Huge Lips Skinny Hips

 

Huge Lips Skinny Hips is lipgloss with an appetite suppressant. Clearly, SpaceNK have already nabbed it (and probably have a lifetime exclusive), but that's fine by me. I prefer to think (even if naively) that people really don't need such last-ditch efforts to stop themselves eating. C'mon, people.

 

The mechanism by which it works is by accidentally ingesting the gloss (women do, annually, accidentally ingest oodles of lip product. Ew). Why not just take a tablet instead if you feel you must? Or, maybe that's the beauty behind the product... getting rid of the taboo of taking dieting pills. After all, you can easily whip out a lipgloss wand in the pub but you'll certainly draw horrified stares if you pop a dubious pill at the table. The active ingredients are Hoodia Gordonii and Vitamin B3. Hoodia already comes in supplement form.

So we keep getting skinnier and skinnier and skinnier and re-applying and re-applying and for what? For men to find us more and more attractive because we keep getting skinnier and our lips keep getting bigger? We'll be caricatures of females before too long (oops, too late. We already have loads of them. Think drag queens and Jodie Marsh). Plus, Joey New York already did one of these (LipFit) and Too Faced did Slenderize last year. And the packaging looks way too similar to FusionBeauty's LipFusion.

In fact, one friend suggested it might be more effective to just rub lipstick all over your plate of food to put you off eating. Sounds like a more sensible plan to me.

Huge Lips Skinny Hips (£18) launches in SpaceNK on 13 March.

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