Detox deshmox... nonsense

Ladies, there are some simple equations in life that we should all be very, very familiar with. The most important (besides the basic (and often-times hard-to-grasp) what I earn - what I spend = what I have left) will keep insanity at bay when it comes to worrying about weight (which we all do). Be cold and calculating with it. Strip away all the emotional stuff we attach to food and you'll find that:

Calories in - energy out = weight gain/loss/maintenance

Consume less calories than you burn (even if every single one of those calories comes in the form of cheese, chocolate or sticks of butter) and you will lose weight, guaranteed. No fancy foods necessary. No bank-breaking gym membership required, no pills, no special plans. Eat less calories than you use and you lose weight, which brings me to my point.

Yet another ridiculous (I know, there are many) article in the Daily Mail appeared yesterday about how Gwyneth Paltrow is a 'picture of health' because she's - quelle suprise - shed weight and her makeup artist has deftly placed some bronzer on her face and limbs. [As an aside, can I ask a question... is the only thing that merits putting a female in the press either losing or gaining weight?]

Of course, we all know thin does not necessarily mean healthy. I could blather on about it for ages but I won't. Believe the media and we should all look like stick insects. Consult Roman and Greek sculpture or, even better, anatomical guides for a more realistic ideal.

That sort of obsession... er, focus on controlling food leads to serious problems like eating disorders. Plus, it makes you insanely boring. Who wants to go to yet another dinner party with a girl who uses the reason that she's 'gluten intolerant' to touch nothing on her plate all night? That hardly shows a joie de vivre, does it? A dollop of goat's cheese on a bed of beets and lettuce with a glass of red wine is hardly bad for you. Unless you eat a truck load of it, your bum will not be expanding any time soon.

Want to regulate your weight in a healthy way? Do as the Japanese do (bless them and they're amazing eating habits) and eat until you're just 80% full. Brilliant.

Read the Daily Mail's article on Gwyneth's spartan regime, not fit for those who lead regular lives (although, I will admit that skin brushing feels good).