A term used for products that are supposed to mimic the wrinkle-banishing effect of Botox, as in fake Botox. No such thing exists (the Botox molecule is too big to penetrate the skin's surface.)
Lip injections or inserts that make you look like a trout -- and patently ridiculous (Katie Price, Sarah Harding, Brittany Murphy, Meg Ryan, Goldie Hawn, Jessica Simpson, nearly all WAGs, Jodie Marsh, Lindsay Blo-han, Brit Brit, Leslie Ash, Megan Fox... more people (you too Pete Burns) than I could ever think to list in a single blog post.
So hungry you end up getting angry (Geddit? Hungry + angry = hangry). Not a desirable state but one in which many modern women perpetually live.
Also know as The New New Face. It’s the modern era’s answer to the face lift. Actresses, models, women with too much money plump cheeks, under eyes, lips, etc. to mimic the fuller face more common in one’s youth. Madonna et al.
When a woman looks like she’s 16 from behind and 61 from the front. Highly confusing for randy teenage boys and creepy, old model chasers alike.
Pulling a Wildenstein
Having your face butchered so badly by plastic surgery/cosmetic injections you no longer resemble yourself... or any human being, for that matter. Hard to look at, like a solar eclipse.
The fleshy backside of the arm that waves, like a wing, when old ladies raise an arms and yell ‘BINGO’ in the bingo hall on a Friday night. Not the preserve of nans, bingo wing can be seen on any number of women/girls and increasingly men with un-toned arms.
Someone who looks good at a distance and a mess up close.
The act of pursing one’s lips into a wannabe pout (duck bill) for photos because one believes it looks sexy. A visual blight on social networking sites. Definitively un-sexy.
Being so fake tan that one looks orange, the color of Tango. Seemingly the default complexion colour of choice for far too many. Often paired with Duckface (see above) and a multitude of other beauty sins.
Bad breast implants that look as if they’ve been bolted onto one’s chest, like a flesh-toned coconut bra. A staple among all the Real Houswives and other reality TV stars. Common among WAGs and emaciated models too.
Heels so vertiginous they cause near paralysis when worn. The goal is to take as few steps as possible, usually from taxi door to table and back. Like Chinese foot bondage for the WAG set.
A wo/man who thinks (falsely) that by hanging out with more fashionable, attractive, well-connected people s/he is, by osmosis, the same. Often named in paparazzi shots as 'friend' if at all. Markedly frumpier than those to which s/he clings.
When someone (like one famous flame-haired Aussie who swears she's never *cough, cough* had anything done) has so much Botox that the only expression lines their faces can form are on the sides of the nose, resembling bunny whiskers. Often paired with strained neck muscles when attempting a smile. It often looks like they're making a cutesy nose-scrunchy face. That is just them trying to smile in earnest without the muscles to do it.
The side effect of too much Botox, often seen with the above-mentioned Bunny Lines and results in a large, flat, shiny plane between frozen brows (see Kim Cattrall).
In Hollywood, doing something radically different -- usually with hair colour or cut -- to distract from some sort of nip-and-tuck, injection, etc. that’s been done. See Sandra Bullock + bangs, Natalie Portman + shaved head, etc.
The universal term (and brand name) for all girdle-style undergarments that suck in everything from legs to bum, tummy and even bingo wings. Hard to pee while wearing them and have the dual purpose of making overeating impossible and sucking in your already-empty stomach (or other wobbly bit) for maximum smoothness. [editor's note: I will live in these post-childbirth if I ever have kids, at least for the first six months.]
Someone who’s now more plastic than real. They often look okay, until you compare their Plastic Fantastic person to an image of the original. Think Kardashians (all), Kate Beckinsale, Liz Hurley, Megan Fox, Pamela Anderson et al.
When your neck skin starts to sag and wrinkle, like the waddle on a turkey.
Pulling a Brittany
When you chop off your hair because your perma-extensions are causing it to fall out. Often done under the ruse of becoming fashion forward/edgy. See Carey Mulligan, Brit Brit et al.
Girls who are so out-of-it because they’re detoxing or juice fasting so much that their brains don't function.
Thick ankles that look as if your calves meet your feet without any ankle first. Very noticable when wearing flats.
When one's body is so emaciated their head that it actually looks like a big, round lollipop atop a stick.
A term popularized by recent flop Hall Pass. It's when a girl/guy of average or below average appearance surrounds herself/himself by even less attractive people to appear hot thanks the company between (that's the key word) which s/he has sandwiched herself/himself.
Man hips, as in womanly, child-bearing hips on a man. Much more frequently seen nowadays. Not always seen with Moobs (man boobs), but when the latter happens, the former is usually present as well. These dudes should see the above entry for Spanx and look into a Bro (man bra).
Add your own terms in the comments section if you fancy it!
Originally published by Jessica Teas at the brilliant LOOKING GOOD, NO MATTER WHAT. It's a cracking read by a bevvy of international beauty writers (moi included), so check it out!